The Crossroads of Should and Must Find and Follow Your Passion by Elle Luna

A calling is something that we feel compelled to do regardless of fame or fortune; the work is the reward.

There are two paths in life: should and must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And every day, we get to choose.

Should is how other people want us to live our lives.

It’s all of the expectations that others layer upon us. Sometimes, Shoulds are small, seemingly innocuous, and easily accommodated. “You should listen to that song,” for example. At other times, Shoulds are highly influential systems of thought that pressure and, at their most destructive, coerce us to live our lives differently.

When we choose Should, we’re choosing to live our life for someone or something other than ourselves. The journey to Should can be smooth, the rewards can seem clear, and the options are often plentiful.

Must is different.

Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s that which calls to us most deeply. It’s our convictions, our passions, our deepest held urges and desires—unavoidable, undeniable, and inexplicable. Unlike Should, Must doesn’t accept compromises.

Must is when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own—and this allows us to cultivate our full potential as individuals. To choose Must is to say yes to hard work and constant effort, to say yes to a journey without a road map or guarantees, and in so doing, to say yes to what Joseph Campbell called “the experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”

Choosing Must is the greatest thing we can do with our lives.

What am I in the eyes of most people-a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person-somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then-even if that were absolutely true, then I should like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart." -- Vincent Van Gogh

A considerable percentage of the people we meet on the street are people who are empty inside, that is, they are actually already dead. It is fortunate for us that we do not see and do not know it. If we knew what a number of people are actually dead and what a number of these dead people govern our lives, we should go mad with horror.

G. I. Gurdjieff

Gurdjieff was a spiritual teacher around the turn of the century, and one day, he posed a question to his students.

"If a prisoner wants to escape from prison. What's the first thing he needs to know?"

"You need to know the guard." One student said.

"You need to find the key." said another.

"No," Gurdjieff said, "The first thing that you need to know if you want to escape from prison is that you are IN PRISON. Until you know that, no escape is possible."

Your activities might appear to be unrelated, but over time, your interests will integrate and cross-pollinate because they have one common element—you. As designer Charles Eames was fond of saying, “Eventually everything connects.” And it will.

A musician must make music. An artist must paint. A poet must write. If he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.

Abraham Maslow Psychologist

Maybe you’ll get paid to do what you love. Or maybe you’ll take a job where the hours are clearly defined, the work isn’t too exhausting, and you have energy to pursue your Must on nights and weekends.

But what you don’t want is to take a job that was intended to pay the bills and suddenly, you don’t have time to explore your passion, you’re too tired to step into that which you were put on this earth to do. And if, for some awful reason, you forget that money is a game, a make-believe concept that some people invented, you could be led back into the complex layered world of Should. And here, the loss isn’t a financial one. You are the cost. Is it worth it?

While working, I suddenly heard a noise and looked up to find Robert Hughes, the art critic of Time magazine, staring at me in disbelief.

"But you're Philip Glass! What are you doing here?"

It was obvious that I was installing his dishwasher, and I told him I would soon be finished.

"But you are an artist," he protested.

I explained that I was sometimes a plumber as well and that he should go away and let me finish.